oh mother...

upon seeing the horrible condition of my skin
(from getting no sunlight, zero exercise, breathing recycled air, and stress)
my mother ran upstairs to her room and brought me
"skin repair/protectant cream"
she said "all the missionaries and pastors' wives use this when they have skin problems! They say it works wonders!!!!"
thrilled and thankful, i ran to the bathroom, washed my face, and applied the cream liberally.
it soon dried into a thick dry white paste, almost like smeared chalk.

i thought this cream would provide moisture and replenish vitamins into my skin.
something seemed 'off' so i flipped the cream tube to read the back.

under "Uses" [or should i say use, since it listed only one], it read: "for the prevention and repair of diaper rash"

Oh mother.

maybe my skin will become, as the saying goes, "as soft as a baby's bottom"...